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Post by America on Feb 8, 2013 16:40:42 GMT -5
"Yeah, they're gonna be of use all right," America agreed, though he did so with a snort, face red at the subject matter. He found the entire situation highly ironic; they were sitting in rain, huddling together to keep the cold and the wet out, and dozens of zombies were still struggling to eat them, yet they were focused on condoms. But America wasn't complaining. Placing his attention on condoms was far more entertaining than zombies.
Still, he couldn't help but fidget embarrassingly where he sat.
The talk about what kind of condoms embarrassed America even more, especially when England blamed him for making the conversation awkward. "What?!" he exclaimed. "Seriously, you're calling me the pervert?" He groaned, burying his face in the palm of his hand, just wishing England could have said they were a normal sort of condom pack. This was getting too weird, even for America.
That's not to say he wouldn't want to try using some of them, but details.
"I-I'm not the one who grabbed condoms that-that had colors and tasted like, like-" He didn't know the extent of the flavors that condoms came in. "-like fruit, an-and how the fuck did you manage to find textured condoms in a pharmacy? Do they even sell those? Jesus, England, you're acting like I'm the pervert? I didn't grab flavored condoms while trying to fill up my bag! I mean, I'm not saying that those condoms are bad 'cause we can use them later, but it- I meant that everyone can use th-them, an-and you're just a perverted, old man, and I didn't do anything wrong!"
And then he pouted, because that's what he seemed to do best in that sort of awkward situation.
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Post by England on Feb 8, 2013 18:07:50 GMT -5
"You idiot, you're the one who asked about size in the first place, not me!" England almost screeched, scooting to put a bit of distance between him and his boyfriend. He needed some space to breathe. "I-I just answered, so you can't call me a pervert since you asked for it." It embarrassed him even more that America looked so uncomfortable talking about it. He thought it would have been acceptable to mention their sex life once they were so far in their relationship, but it still felt like America was iffy about it, which in turn made England uncomfortable. He didn't want to make the other nation feel pressured, and though he wished they could discuss something like that seriously, he was able to wait as long as America needed. Even if he didn't like it.
To cover the disappointment up, he just did what he did best. Harp at America.
"If they were on the shelf, it meant that the pharmacy was selling them, you idiot! What did you think I did, run to a sex shop while you were browsing your nasal sprays? Stop making such a big deal of this. Yes, some condoms taste like strawberry. Yes, others have small ridges on the side. Things like this exist. Just as it's in the instincts of a zombie to tear living beings apart, it's in the instinct of men to fuck. Get over it and grow up," he scoffed, turning his eyes away and letting the chill from the water seeping into the jacket cool his face down. He curled up more on himself a little, observing the intensifying rain with little interest, and sighed.
Of course he would end up quieting down so somberly. He tended to do that, take everything seriously. It wasn't his fault, though, that America refused to treat the issue like a mature adult. He was the one provoking England, making it seem like it was some kind of taboo issue they shouldn't ever talk about. England could understand embarrassment, but not to this degree. It wasn't even as if they were discussing it in public. Nobody would hear their conversation apart from themselves, and perhaps the mindless cannibals that would come knocking at their door in the next few hours. England felt bad for even starting the conversation.
"At this rate, you won't even get to use one, you right arse," he muttered turning around to give his back to America and instead wiggling his freezing toes and betting with himself on the number of minutes that it would take to soak the boots through.
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Post by America on Feb 8, 2013 21:30:15 GMT -5
Once England moved away from him, America felt ashamed. He had been the one asking, and while it was an embarrassing subject, he figured he was being rather immature about it all. Still, they were in public (or, rather, they were outside) and it was flavored condoms. America wasn't completely stupid; there was a reason condoms were flavored. His face flushed, even as he thought about those sorts of things, and he buried his face in his knees, listening still as England talked and feeling worse all the while.
He took a deep breath and let it out, shrugging his shoulders. "I-I-I mean, it's not new to me, just-" Just he couldn't understand why they were even discussing this sort of thing. Then again, they weren't ever in private to discuss their own sex life. This was far away from the public they were going to get, and this would probably be one of the only conversations about it that they were going to get. And America was ruining it and making England feel awkward, probably.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, staring down at the ground. The cement was already wet, and the ground underneath America's body was slowly becoming the same. It felt uncomfortable to be apart from England, so with a sigh, he scooted closer once more, his shoulder touching England's back. "It, um...I wa-was just a bit, uh, worried. 'Cause I've never used those sorts of-of condoms before. Like, the flavor stuff goes in your mouth, right? And it, well, I don't know how to talk about that shit, 'cause you know. I've only ever gotten with you, and we don't use strawberry condoms."
He cleared his throat, staring out at the rain and wishing it could wash away every bit of the general embarrassment they both felt. America wanted to be able to talk to England about serious matters without starting a fight. There was hardly any communication when they talked about their relationship, and America supposed he was to blame. He was still such a baby compared to England.
"Can we start all over with this conversation?" he asked, grinning nervously at England's turned body. "Like, we can pretend you told me what you got and I can be all sexy and seducing and say, 'Oh, we're totally gonna be using those,' and, you know, just like how I'm supposed to be." Not childish and immature about it. He swallowed and nodded, knowing England couldn't see him. "I mean, I'd really like to use them with you. Maybe not the texture ones yet, 'cause I have no idea how the hell those are supposed to work."
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Post by England on Feb 8, 2013 23:22:24 GMT -5
"No, we shouldn't start over," England shook his head though he couldn't see America. "You're uncomfortable with it, I understand. If you don't think you're ready to talk about it, I won't ask you to. I understand that it may be a new concept and one that you're not feeling too good about, so I won't pressure you. Starting over would be almost as if I'd be ordering you to swallow the fact that we're going to discuss our sex life right here, right now, and I don't want to do that to you. I don't want this to be unpleasant for you."
"I don't want this to end in another fight."
"We don't have to use them. There are other couples in the warehouse, not just us. Besides, they have an expiry date, so used or not, we'll throw them out at some point. Having condoms at easy reach doesn't mean that you have to use them. They're there for protection, not to make you feel guilty. It's alright if you want nothing to do with them." He figured he'd made his point, but it didn't feel less awkward. "We can just drop the subject right now. I understand that our situation is not ideal to be discussing something like this. Maybe you'd rather have it in front of the fire back at the warehouse. Or on the roof, at night. Somewhere where you'd feel safer, perhaps." He definitely wanted to apologize for making him so embarrassed, but couldn't bring himself to do it.
"Of course, if you want to talk, I'm ready any time. We're not going anywhere. Anything you want to tell me, I'm going to be ready to listen. You don't need to know everything. Nobody knows everything, and we're two so we can complete the gaps in one another's knowledge. You don't have to try, either. I want you the way you are, not the way you want to pretend you are. If you don't feel comfortable being 'sexy' for me, I don't mind. I think you're attractive anyway, and I would shag you any day. So whenever you think you have something to ask, or tell me, know that I... I'll do my best not to let it end up like it did."
If he had any doubts about the state of his cheeks until then, he was pretty sure of it now: he was absolutely bloodshot in the face, and not only because he was embarrassed to admit everything he did, but also because he was afraid of being ridiculed. That was an awfully serious outcome to something that started as lighthearted teasing. America must really have thought that he had a stick up his ass after all, just as he'd always teased.
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Post by America on Feb 9, 2013 9:26:43 GMT -5
America stared at England's back, eyebrows raised as he listened closely. When it fell silent, save for the pitter-patter of the rain falling, America sighed again, wrapping his arms around his knees in an effort to give himself more warmth. It didn't look as if they'd be laying peacefully on each other anytime soon, so America would have to make do with what he had until they both became comfortable enough (or cold enough) to get back in their original position.
America could hate himself until then.
He hadn't meant to start an argument. He had been playfully teasing at first, then he had been vaguely interested, but something spiraled out of control and America's teasing had been quickly replaced by a defensive front and complete lack of experience. He didn't know how to react to those condoms. He hadn't been sure what to say exactly. It was obvious that there was no way he could try being sexy in a situation like the one they were in, and even if he could, he didn't know how to be sexy when faced with something they hadn't yet tried.
Clearing his throat, he said, "I never said I didn't want to use them. I do." Admitting that made his face heat up again, but he refused to back down or sling insults at England. That would get them nowhere except another fight, and America hated fighting with England. He was going to be a man and suck it up, no matter how new and different and strange this seemed to him. "I-I just don't know how to respond to-to this. I mean, I'll gladly do it with you, use these and all, but it just kinda surprised me."
It made him feel so, so inadequate.
"I mean, I'm just a newbie compared to everyone else. I don't know stuff like this. And, well, when it comes to you, I just hate not knowing. You've got experience up your belt. Hell, practically all the nations have experience up their belts. I can't just sit someone down and start asking them about sex, you know? I'm supposed to be experienced, since I'm a large and powerful country, but I-I just." He swallowed and began moving his toes around in his boots, the rain having already soaked through his socks. "I hate not knowing. I hate the unknown. Especially if other people know this stuff and I don't."
He had always tried to know everything. He had always been exploring, searching for truths, trying to be just as smart, if not more so, than everyone else. And then there was sex. He didn't have to know when he wasn't in a relationship, because no one would care. He didn't have sex, so there was nothing for him to know. But once he entered into a relationship, he was aware of how much there was to know, of how far behind and slow he was at everything.
"But that doesn't mean I wanna quit talking about it just because it makes me a little uncomfortable," he finished, refusing to look up. "We're supposed to be partners, and partners are supposed to communicate with each other."
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Post by England on Feb 9, 2013 12:55:33 GMT -5
"Then in that case, communicate." England immediately regretted the unnecessary bite to his words, but took a breath before continuing so that his nerves wouldn't be high-strung when having a delicate conversation like this. "You say you don't know, and you say you're too embarrassed to go to people who already have more experience, but if you talk to nobody, you won't get anywhere. Besides, I already know you a lot better than other nations. Hell, I've seen you stripped starkers before. There is no reason to be afraid to talk to me about anything, especially things concerning your sexuality. I want you to be comfortable with this issue before we progress any further in our relationship."
He was so bad at sugar-coating, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he regretted not having the talent to ease into subjects. Perhaps America wasn't able to read the atmosphere, but he couldn't respect the atmosphere, even if he read it, and in his mind, it was even worse than being oblivious. The subject was obviously delicate for his lover, and he couldn't manage to say anything with the tact required.
"You can always choose not to pay attention to what you've found. Flavoured, textured, coloured, glow-in-the-dark, heating, or any other kind of condom is still a condom. You roll it on your cock and then put that in any hole that tickles your fancy." Sarcasm was leaking through his words because not only did it embarrass him to discuss such things in a non-serious context, but he also just wanted to make his point and avoid dragging the subject on. "It's hygiene and there's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of. If condoms exist, it's because they have to be used."
England shivered, cutting his sentence off, and bitterness surged through his for a second. He hated being cold and feeling so detached. If it weren't for the bit of rationality in his mind, he would have already attempted to get back inside, break through the tidal waves of undead, and walk his merry way back to his motorbike to make his way back to the warehouse. But he knew it was impossible, and that he was stuck in place and would be for a while now. Subconsciously, he scooted a bit back, and when he realized what his mind was tugging him to do, he turned back around and returned to America's side, hoping that the disgusting goosebumps under his clothes would settle down now that he was next to a source of warmth.
"I don't want you to be embarrassed when we discuss our sex life. It's a very human and normal thing to do, and it's a part of us. I don't want to put any conditions on our relationship, but if you still want to have sex at some point, we're going to have to discuss all of this, just to make sure we're on the same page," he laid his head down against America's shoulder and brought the rest of his body as close to him as he could. Suddenly, he was painfully aware of how young America was, and how innocent and inexperienced he comparatively was. "I don't want to jump into anything without making sure that we both know what we're doing. If you have questions or concerns, you don't have to go to anyone else whom you believe has experience tucked up their belts and sleeves. Any theory or practice you need can be arranged with me."
And he may or may not have suddenly felt a surge of possessiveness for the young nation curled up against him.
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Post by America on Feb 9, 2013 20:55:44 GMT -5
"But it's just-" America cut himself off with a groan, making sure he and England were as close together as they were supposed to be. He didn't know how to explain himself anymore. He wanted to talk about it all, of course he did, but he felt so awkward. Communication, though, had to be vital. It was supposed to be vital. If he couldn't even talk about his own sex life, how on earth would he ever be able to discuss anything else? It was sex, for heaven's sake! Everyone else could discuss it and do it just fine and dandy.
It was because he didn't want to be judged, he realized as he hid the blush rising on his face by resting his head in England's hair and squeezing his eyes shut. England was experienced, and England knew this stuff. America didn't know far too much about sex, and asking England about such simple things, such as different sorts of condoms, was just humiliating. America wanted to know and show England that he was very smart when it came to sex, but he couldn't unless he asked another nation to tell him those sorts of things.
"I wish I was experienced," he blurted out, England's messy, blond hair tickling his nose as he spoke. "Then we wouldn't have to worry about talking. We could just go on and do it and you'd be proud of me for it." He just wanted to please England, but it seemed like he couldn't, especially not if England had to guide him through everything.
He tightened the grip he had around his knees, curling in closer to England and talking quieter now. "Since I can't be experienced, though-" and he felt deflated at that. "-can you tell me what we can do? Like, I'm game for anything. Seriously, I am. If you want it, I'll do it." He was being too easy, he knew, too willing, but when it came to England, he would gladly try anything. "I can't magically gain any experience, though. I'm still gonna find things super weird. Like blowjobs, for example. I've never done that, but since you got these flavored ones, maybe we can try. I mean, I didn't know that you were supposed to give one with a condom on, because I-I didn't think that was how it was done, but if you want to..." And his voice trailed off at the end and his mouth felt overly dry and he felt hotter, despite the chilly breeze and the rain that was beginning to soak him through.
But he suddenly found the entire situation slightly funny. More humiliating than anything, but he couldn't help it when he started laughing, moving his head off of England's and instead burying it into his own arms. "Oh my god, I'm pathetic," he managed to choke out.
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Post by England on Feb 10, 2013 19:43:24 GMT -5
England couldn't believe his ears. He actually had to stop and process what he'd heard for a second, and then react in a way that was probably less effective than he wanted it to be .
"Oh my god." The tone expressed amazed exasperation. "More stupid than anything else, really," England grumbled, rubbing his forehead. He let the words sink in for a second, and then realized that it probably wasn't the best idea to be a smartass when America was being so painfully honest with his feelings. Sighing, he looped his arms around his boyfriend's arm, and leaned in to press a kiss to his earlobe.
"Sorry," he felt weird apologizing for something that was meant to be a joke, but he figured it was for the best. "I just... Don't want you to think that this is a competition. This is between you and I and nobody else, so you don't have to compare yourself to anybody else. You can't compare yourself to me, either. You'd have to go sleeping around with every living thing you see, and I definitely won't let you do that." A rush of affection cut him off, and he trailed kisses along America's ear, and then jaw, through hushed whispers.
"You make me so happy, really. I couldn't have asked for anything better than you are now. You are gorgeous," a kiss to his jaw. "Amazing," another, lower this time. His neck was craning to reach further, so he untangled one of his hands and gently pulled America's jaw towards him so he could admire the bright blush on his cheeks. "Sexy," a possessive growl tore out of his throat without his consent, and he bit the skin right under America's lips just slightly, then kissed it to ease the ache. "And so, so perfect..." he finished with a sigh and kissed his lips without faltering.
"I love you," he stated as he pulled back just a little, the sound of the crashing rain roaring in his ears. "It's okay not to know everything. Hell, even I don't know everything. But I'm willing to live and learn, and I will have nobody but you to accompany me in such a journey."
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Post by America on Feb 10, 2013 21:33:42 GMT -5
The kisses were nice.
Unexpected, completely and entirely unexpected, but so, so nice. They did nothing to cover up the blush that had spread across his nose and stretched onwards over his cheeks, but it did make him feel less silly, less inexperienced, less inadequate. With every kiss, he was reminded that England loved him for who he was. England didn't love him any less because of his lack of knowledge. England wouldn't love him any less if he did have knowledge. Hell, that soft bite to the skin, and the kiss that followed shortly after, just verified the fact that England probably wouldn't love him more, either.
England's love was good as was.
America couldn't help it when a small smile came to his face, and he unwrapped his hands from around his knees and used one arm to pull England back towards him, kissing his nose, then the corner of his lips, then his cheek, unable to suppress the happiness and relief welling up in him. "You're sappy," he stated, not rudely. If anything, the fact that England was so sappy seemed to light up his face even more. "And so, so wonderful. God, how did I get so lucky?" He nuzzled his nose against England's, grinning then at the feeling of their skin together, so warm despite the outside weather.
He pressed a quick kiss to England's lips before continuing. "And I know we're not competing or anything, but I'm not used to, uh, being..." He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, thinking. "Being second. Being left behind. I don't, you know, feel that ever. I'm always first. I mean, it sounds stupid and selfish, but I am, and since I never bothered to learn much about sex." He shrugged, then backtracked for what seemed like the fiftieth time. "I mean, I know the basics, duh. I wouldn't have been able to have sex with you if I didn't know the gist of it. But, like, I guess- I wanna please you, England! I wanna be able to just sit you down and do all this sexy stuff without you having to guide me through it like a child."
He sighed, pouting once more. "And I don't even know how blowjobs work. Seriously, why do you put up with me?" But he didn't say it in any sort of condescending way; he just seemed more amused than anything.
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Post by England on Feb 10, 2013 23:24:34 GMT -5
"I put up with you because you're a good fuck," England tried to keep a straight face as he looked up at America innocently, but couldn't hold it in when he saw the small pout on his face, so he let out a short laugh and playfully shoved America's shoulder with his. "Oh, of course not. I don't put up with you, I love having you around. Yes, it's sometimes challenging to keep you still, but hey, I guess someone needs to bring some life into these old bones of mine." It felt weird to refer to himself as old, since he definitely wasn't as old as he could have been, and definitely not as old as some nations like Japan or China, but sometimes, he did look at America and wonder if he could keep up with him anymore. "I wouldn't have anybody but you, believe me."
Slipping his arms around his waist, he breathed in the cold air and shivered, comforting himself with the weight of America's arm around his shoulders. He didn't understand why the other man was so conflicted. England honestly did not mind the fact that America was not very knowledgeable about sex. He had to admit it was rather endearing to watch him fumble. Perhaps slightly cruel, as America obviously seemed distressed by his own confusion, but still cute. England just wished he weren't so insecure. How could he make him understand that he would never be judged?
"You don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing," he repeated in what felt like the hundredth time. "If you don't like the idea of giving a blowjob, you don't have to. It's ironic, because sex is the most primal instinct of man, and yet it is the action that requires the most trust between partners. The instinct of having sex has been around since the beginning of life, and that's exactly what it is; an instinct. You don't have to have any kind of prerequisite, because you'll do fine if you just follow your instinct and do what feels good. If both in the couple feel good, then that's how it goes. You don't need to think about it too much," he caressed America's hair and then pecked the underside of his jaw, since he couldn't reach his actual face in his slouched position. "This isn't a race, and it sure as hell isn't a game. You're not losing, you're not coming second. You don't have to feel insecure, alright? Everybody takes things to their own pace, and you have yours, which is fine."
Some sort of frustration welled up inside of him, though, and he shifted to lean better against his boyfriend as he stared out in front of him. The jacket smelled of humidity. Rain was starting to seep in. England could already feel the miserable next few hours washing over them.
"You don't have to try and make me proud. You already do, god, you make me so, so happy. You don't have to know how to give some fancy blowjob, or be ready to try some kind of extremely kinky sex to make me proud. To be honest, anything that'll get you out of your clothes is going to turn me on. Even if you want to try something new, just go for it. I'll never laugh at you, because I know that you aren't entirely comfortable with your sexuality just yet, and that you're trying. Everything you do means so much to me. Even when you try something new, try it not because you want to impress me, or anything stupid of the sort, but because you want to try it and see if you like it," he let a small smile fall upon his face. "I have pretty much defined my limits already, so whenever you want to test something out, I'd be glad to assist."
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Post by America on Feb 11, 2013 7:13:34 GMT -5
America looked down at England, shaking his head and grinning all the while. He almost didn't want to believe anything England said. Surely, as a boyfriend, he was supposed to be able to do all the kinky sex, the interesting sex, before England was satisfied. (America wasn't sure whether or not England was into that sort of thing, but if he slept with as many people as he was leading America on to believe - there must have been somewhere England gained experience, after all - then he must have at least tried kinky sex, meaning he must know how to do it, meaning there was a high chance he liked it because who didn't like kinky sex?)
"You know," America started, looking back out at the rain and shivering where he sat. They were both beginning to get rather wet; England was right, his jacket only proved useful for a little bit, and now it was feeling rather worn. America gripped it protectively, though he still refused to remove it. There was a little protection it could still offer, and America was determined to make that small sacrifice so that he and England could be just a tiny bit more comfortable. "You're too good to be true," he continued, nudging England slightly. "Really. You are. I just keep expecting to wake up and have you all like, 'Well, nice dream, America, good luck finding someone who actually does all that.'" He smiled peacefully, kissing England's temple and keeping close.
"Then I do wake up and I keep expecting that to happen, like I said, but instead you're always there and all you have to do is kiss me good morning and say, 'Get off your lazy ass,' and I know you'll never be going away." He felt like the cheesiest of men.
He didn't care how cheesy he had sounded (he always knew England's sapiness seeped into him) just so long as his boyfriend knew how special he was, just how much he brightened his lover's life. Everyone always thought America was one of the most cheerful nations, one of the most carefree. America felt like he was the only one who knew that England actually brought him more life and happiness and love, because no one had ever loved him in such a way.
"I still wanna try it," he said, feeling silly for saying such ridiculous, lovesick nonsense. "The blowjob, I mean. It won't be fancy. I mean, I'll probably stop every five seconds and ask you if I'm doing it right. Doubt it'll feel good." He swallowed and cleared his throat. "But, uh, yeah. I wanna try it. Make you happy and all. And if I'm able to make you happy, then I'm happy. I'll be comfortable when you are. I don't do things I don't wanna do, you know. I'll do it because I want to, and I want to see you enjoying it." He shrugged his shoulders. "My limits are whatever yours are, and I'll try anything you want to try."
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Post by England on Feb 11, 2013 9:41:04 GMT -5
England couldn't help but laugh, a short, dry laugh that sent his breath puffing against America's neck. America really was too cute sometimes. And so naive.
"I doubt you'd ever want to try some of the things I've tried before," he hummed, not entirely proud of himself for that comment, but ready to share, because that's what boyfriends did. "I will do them all over again for you, though. If having all kinds of sex left and right will make you feel better, then let me be the best pick-me-up you've ever had," he chuckled and kissed America's neck softly. "Hey, really. It's not only because you're the most incredible turn-on I have ever had, but because I want to help you figure this out. Sex isn't supposed to be complicated, so anything I can do to smooth it out, you tell me, and I'll do it."
"I'm not going anywhere, either. If this is a dream, then we're both dreaming, and so I suggest that we wake up, and hook up for real, because I don't know what I would do without you." He should have felt awkward for all these heartfelt confessions he was handing out at will, but could not bring himself to. "I'm not quite sure I've settled with the fact that you are mine, either. You, America the golden boy, one of the world's greatest nations, dating decrepit old Britain, the little island all alone off the coast of Europe? I never would have thought this day would come, but here we are," he couldn't help the slightly bitter smile that rose on his face. "And not a single day passes without me feeling like this is all unreal and that when I snap out of this trance, we'll both go back to... well... what we used to do before."
He didn't want to go back there, regress to a time when things were just too iffy between them. That awkward time when they had no idea how to balance their relationship, or what their relationship even was. It had been so frustratingly confusing for him to get closer to America before finally realizing that he was in love. Then again, now that he knew what loving America felt like, there was no way he would ever go back.
"I wish I could hold you forever," he glanced up a little at the grey skies, shivering when the slightest amount of water began rolling down his back. "Preferably in a much more comfortable setting, but if we can't have that, then I'll just take this," he motioned to the both of them with his head. "This, and everything that comes with it." His eyes suddenly flashed mischievously. "Blowjob included. If you want, I'll even go first, just so you can test your tolerance for such an act. To be honest, I used to think it was unsanitary, but now, especially with the perfection of condoms, I really enjoy it, whether I am -how do you Americans put it?- pitching or receiving."
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Post by America on Feb 11, 2013 11:44:05 GMT -5
America snorted and bit his lip with a blush. "Yeah, pitching and receiving. Like baseball. Dunno why we use baseball terms to describe sex. I didn't make that up, if you're wondering." Hell, he used to get in conversations with people he worked with and instantly assume that they were talking about baseball. It took him a while to realize why everyone thought he had some sort of stash of secret lovers, and once he did, he didn't really engage much in conversations about baseball.
"You shouldn't be surprised that I'm dating you," he added, wishing that the rain would stop, if even for a little bit, because even England wasn't able to block out the cold and keep him dry. His jacket was doing little anymore. "I might be one of the world's greatest nations-" he flushed and grinned shyly at that, still unable to properly contain his happiness whenever England called him such grand names. "-but I'm still just a kid. I doubt any of the other nations actually wanna date me. And then there's you, and you're just really smart and super sexy and everyone trusts you. You're the leader of us right now, after all, they've gotta trust you. Still, if I was promoted to be a leader, no one would pay me any mind. But you do. You actually trust me and love me for who I am, not who I try to be."
He didn't know if he was surprised by the fact that someone loved him in such a way, or that England, who was clearly the most important out of all of them at the moment, loved him. Or maybe he was surprised that he loved someone who loved him back, and while their relationship wasn't perfect, it was just normal. He was able to be normal and human and he didn't have to act or pretend, because everything was so normal.
Admitting such things felt overly ridiculous and silly, of course. America was happy they were in private (because he had established the fact in his mind that this was pretty darn private), otherwise he didn't know if either of them would actually talk their relationship over. Knowing the two of them, America figured they'd both rather discuss their sex life than delve into the emotional aspect of things.
But talking over the emotional things was actually relaxing and relieving.
"What all have you done?" he asked, lowering his voice so the rain about nearly washed it over. "Like, uh, just give me an idea of what I'm up against. Not in a competition-sort of way, obviously, I just wanna know, like, what all you've done. An estimate on how far behind I am, I guess. Not that it matters how far behind I am, since our relationship is worth more than kinky sex-" And there he went again, fumbling and getting utterly embarrassed. He felt stupid. "I just wanna know what you've done and what you like, and maybe I can learn some of it."
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Post by England on Feb 11, 2013 19:06:44 GMT -5
"I'm glad you trust me so much. If only everyone else trusted me as much, but then again, I guess I haven't given them a reason to. You, though... I'd do anything to have your trust and your heart."
That being said, though, England was not sure if America was asking a rhethorical question, or if he genuinely wanted to know what kinks he'd actually explored. He had a lot of those, of course, since once upon a time, sex had been a lot more casual to him than usual. And then there was that period in time when he'd hooked up with France... Needless to say that by that time, he had completed his education.
"Do you actually want me to list them? That would take a while. You're better off asking me the ones I haven't tried yet." It wasn't like he was trying to brag, but it came out that way anyway. He blushed and suddenly felt self-conscious. There he was, innocently admitting to his boyfriend that he'd had not necessarily better than him, but more variety with others than he was having with him. Any person in his right mind wouldn't have boasted about something like that.
England was oh-so happily admitting that he was nothing but a cheap whore.
"Sorry," he quickly apologized before his train of thought could continue. "I just... European nations have always had a very interwoven history." No, that was wrong, too. "I mean, I've had lots of rivals, allies and enemies." Didn't mean he had to sleep with every one of them. England felt even worse. "As in, well... I've been around longer than you have..." That still didn't excuse the fact that he'd pretty much slept around a lot more than he should have. "I... I don't know what to say. Sorry." Shame shone in his eyes, and his grip loosened on America just slightly.
"Why don't you name me some things you'd want to try?" He still felt uncomfortable with himself, but if America still wasn't done with this conversation, it was not his place to cut it short. He'd imposed himself enough as is. "I could, uhh... Clear up misconceptions or explain things you don't know..." His cheeks still burned in shame, and newly-arrived embarrassment, but he refused to back down unless America pushed him away.
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Post by America on Feb 11, 2013 21:20:45 GMT -5
America's eyebrows furrowed as he thought through everything England had to say. It was generally accepted that he wasn't the most attentive of nations when it came to reading the atmosphere, but even he was able to tell that England was uncomfortable. It wasn't hard to figure out, what with the stumbling sentences and the loosened grip. America wasn't sure if he was just uncomfortable because they were discussing it, though, or if there was something deeper in there that was getting under England's skin. He couldn't dwell on that, though, because he had to figure out what explanations he would need on things.
He had to ask for England to explain kinky sex for him.
Everything was so, so weird, and if America wasn't intent on learning all he could at the moment and figuring everything out before they went back to the warehouse, he'd probably just shut up and leave the entire subject alone. As it was, though, he'd rather look like an idiot at the moment than look like one as they actually tried out the kinky sex later on.
"Well, er-" He stopped himself, swallowing nervously, unable to properly form a sentence. How was one supposed to ask about sex? What, did he have to limit himself to blowjobs, or could he touch upon the roleplaying aspect of things, and the bondage part, and- "There's so many," he muttered, then blushed when he realized he had spoken out loud. "I-I meant, like, there's so many I don't know about and you do, and I- oh my gosh." He scratched at his head, taking deep breaths, and frowning when he realized the puffs of smoke that came from his mouth. He hadn't realized it was that cold.
Flexing his fingers and toes to keep his extremities warm, he tried again. "Okay. Okay, I got it this time. So, I'm not really sure of everything I wanna try. I just wanna try whatever you wanna try, really. Um, blowjobs are probably the first thing I'd like to, uh, learn...about. S-So I'm not sure if-if we do it with condoms on or off, 'cause you laughed when I, yeah, and do you swallow or not, but with the condom on, I guess you don't, but..." He trailed off, nodding nervously and closing his eyes, his voice steadily gaining more speed and stumbles the more he spoke.
"A-And bondage, maybe, but I'm not sure about it, honestly, and isn't bloodplay one? 'Cept I really d-don't wanna do bloodplay, that's not- a-a-and the use of food, I forgot what that's called, and handjobs and- oh fuck." He made a small noise, almost like a mix between a cry of frustration and a whimper of despair, and shook his head. "For-forget it all, this is just stupid. Tell me, like, your top three. I can do everything else later. Or not. Or, or, I just really don't know."
He groaned and cuddled closer to England once more, burying his face in his boyfriend's neck. "So why did you give up all the fun sex? If you did it a lot."
He realized he was trying to steer the conversation away from his own inexperience, but he found he didn't care anymore. Just so long as England didn't find him stupid.
[[since when was it possible for me to write this much about discussions of kinky sex.]]
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